horrif

being a team edward, team vampire kinda gal, my thoughts turn fairly frequently to the horrific. making friends with six half-grown kittens while barely legal on strongbow made me feel kinda gothic the other night. it was a beautiful moment.
then the next day my housemate was looking at jobs. then i started looking at jobs. then i did the whole google: 'i-D internship', 'nme internship', 'dazed internship'. cos i really want to work for those magazines, don't i? or, actually no wait, let me rephrase that. i want to work for those magazines without having to do the wanky student newspaper thang. which i've done, and which just bores me to tears. really not keen on prostituting myself to what the 3rd hockey team's been up to, or which topshop-clad 'trendsetter' is stalking campus.
okay, so i've ruled out the horrific option of prostituting myself to university-supplied pseudo work experience in order that i can say that i've got something 'in print' on my cv. for that read, 'it's in print framed on my grandparents' wall and wrapping the chips of hundreds of hyde park residents right now'. so, well, let's cut out the middle man and start an e-zine. you know, one of those where the people who run them get famous in super-small circles, and get quoted by hanna hanra and that's about it.
hey, wait a sec, i'll start a blog. because of course i'll set the world on fire. because i'm so different? because i've got one of those fringes? because i hang with the cool kids who make their own e-zines with features on 'cool' bands who are actually just their mates who play down the local pub twice a month? maybe it's not for me, espesh as i don't have one of those fringes, i don't hang with the cool kids, and i'm about to go and cheer olly on in the x factor on telly.
so, um, can i just, like, get successful without trying? because at the moment all i know is i spend a considerable amount of my reading time thinking how i could probably have just as good a stab at current fashion/music/art hybrid journalism, it's just that i don't fancy being proactive enough to stand the smallest chance of getting there. and i know someone who did an internship at the nme, and she made tea for a week. and that's it.